AIM chat: A Story of DECEIT
by Leah Emilio-Depp
Summary: Will, Elizabeth, and Jack all engage into a riveting conversation... on AIM, of course.
1. Chapter 1

GuyLiner34: Sup, ho, you there?

LizzySwan22: Yes.

LizzySwan22: Idiot.

GuyLiner34: So, like, N-E-way…

GuyLiner34: OMFG, Davy Jones is suuuuuuuuuch a luzr…

LizztSwan22: That was a terrible conversation starter.

GuyLiner34:  Yeah, man, that octopus man has GOT to get off my ass… I mean, what's a hundred souls anyway, he can like get that in like a month… hes such a PITA…

LizzySwan22: he's a piece of bread?

GuyLiner34: ur soooooooooo stupid, PITA means pain-in-the-ass… as in… ur such a pita…

LizzySwan22: No, I don't think that's a thing…

GuyLiner34: fine, well, anyway wats with using ur real name? there're gonna b, like, 50 year-old pervs wantin 2 show u their pocket rockets! u could've least mafde it LESS obvious!

LizzySwan22: u think some weirdo's gonna' rape me? ew! Oh, and u spelled "made" wrong…

GuyLiner34: watevs.

GuyLiner34: Point is u shouldn't have ur FULL name as ur sn!

(WillTurner56 has entered chatroom)

WillTurner56: Hey guys!

GuyLiner34: did u guys go 2 the same idiot convention?

LizzySwan22: ur mean!

WillTurner56: What r u guys talkin about?

LizzySwan22: Jack thinks there are gonna be some weirdos out there tryin to rape us

WillTurner56: that's sick!

GuyLiner34: but TRUE, turner. Believe me. I go on chat roulette every single effing freaking days

WillTurner56: there aren't going to b guys looking to rape me…

GuyLiner34: with your tight little butt? … don't b 2 sure about that…

LizzySwan22: how would you know that?

GuyLiner34: brb

(AutoResponse from GuyLiner34: I'm probably REALLY drunk or killing someone… or away from the computer…)

LizzySwan22: Jack?

LizzySwan22: oh, u'r not here…

WillTurner56: He is sooooooooooooo vulgar…

LizzySwan22: I knooooooooooow… but seriously, how would Jack know about your butt?

WillTurner56: Hey, did you know you could make smiles with colons?!? : )

LizzySwan22: No! that one's so cute!

LizzySwan22: Maybe Jack was right… maybe we don't know a lot about AIM… maybe we SHOULD have been more careful .

WillTurner56: what are you talking about? Jack is mean and careless: do you know what he suggested as a screen name?

LizzySwan22: what?

WillTurner56: "WhiningEunuchBoi78"

LizzySwan22: LOL!!! At least its better than what he suggested for me…

WillTurner56: and what may that be?

LizzySwan22: "SugarTits92"

WillTurner56: Lol!! EW. Like he would know…

LizzySwan22: yeah… like HE would know…

WillTurner56: HE of all people wouldn't know…

LizzySwan22: yeah… HE wouldn't know…

WillTurner56: Elizabeth…?

LizzySwan22: I have to go

WillTurner56: ELIZABETH!!

(Auto Response from LizzySwan22:I'm away from my computer… and NOT sleeping with Jack Sparrow)

WillTurner56: YOU WHORE!!!!!!

GuyLiner34: I'm back!! Oops… I have to go…

Willturner56: OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!

(Auto Response from GuyLiner34:I'm away from my computer… and NOT sleeping with Elizabeth Swan )

WillTurner56: U R SUCH A BASTARD!!!! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!! BECAUSE YOU GUYS BASICALLY LIVE WITH ME!!! Ah, eff. Who am I gonna talk 2 now!?

YoungBoi15: hi! My name's Daniel!

WillTurner56: I don't care… I don't even know you… I'm kinda having like a mental breakdown

YoungBoi15: Yeah, well, maybe u can get 2 know me…

YoungBoi15: so, you horny or what?

(Auto Response from WillTurner15: I DON'T WANNA' BE RAPED!!!)

YoungBoi15: hello?


	2. Chapter 2

NOTJackSparrowBoi002: Sup, bro? Who r u?

newdavyblaKsmith98: Jack, come on. I know it's you.

NOTJackSparrowBoi002: Uh, dont kno what ur talking bout, bro.

newdavyblaKsmith98: Jack, that's really pathetic. I know it's you.

NOTJackSparrowBoi002: no, u dont, bro. my name's Phoenix.

newdavyblaKsmith98: Phoenix?

NOTJackSparrowBoi002: Phoenix Dark.

newdavyblaKsmith98: Jack, I've forgiven you- I know you slept with Lizzy, but I don't care.

[NOTJackSparrowBoi002 has signed off

[RumIsEffinSweet42 has entered the chat room

RumIsEffinSweet42: O, thank goodness. I thought Id have to use that disguise my entire life.

newdavyblaKsmith98: That's really insulting to actual disguises, Jack.

RumIsEffinSweet42: shut up...

RumIsEffinSweet42: i see u changed ur AIM sn.

newdavyblaKsmith98: yeah, lizzy changed her's, too.

RumIsEffinSweet42: o, yeah? Wat is it?

ILeadSexyPiratesAstrayOnlyToMakeOutWithThemandKillThemLikeTheSkankyHoIAm: hey, guys, what's up?

RumIsEffinSweet42: oh.

ILeadSexyPiratesAstrayOnlyToMakeOutWithThemandKillThemLikeTheSkankyHoIAm: hey, Jack!

RumIsEffinSweet42: uh, lizzy? dontcha think that sn is a little… long?

ILeadSexyPiratesAstrayOnlyToMakeOutWithThemandKillThemLikeTheSkankyHoIAm: WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! Hold on- I'll brb.

[ILeadSexyPiratesAstrayOnlyToMakeOutWithThemandKillThemLikeTheSkankyHoIAm has signed off

RumIsEffinSweet42: U've been messing with her sn, haven't u?

newdavyblaKsmith98: yep.

[MyHusbandSux1234 has entered the chat room

MyHusbandSux1234: u suck, Will. Why would u do that?

newdavyblaKsmith98: IIIIIIII suck? Well, then, how come your password is "iwannadocaptainjacksparrow"?

RumIsEffinSweet42: OMG, is it really?

MyHusbandSux1234: HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT!!?!?!?!?

newdavyblaKsmith98: HA! U admit it!

MyHusbandSux1234: that's an OLD password! Back from DMC! I was just too lazy to change it, is all.

RumIsEffinSweet42: u need 2 get over me, love.

MyHusbandSux1234: I AM over you!

MyHusbandSux1234: I mean I WAS over you!

MyHusbandSux1234: I mean I never liked you!

RumIsEffinSweet42: methinks the lady doth protest too much

MyHusbandSux1234: u guys really suck! Don't make fun of me anymore.

newdavyblaKsmith98: yeah, whatever.

MyHusbandSux1234: fine! I admit it! I wanted 2 get with Jack since the beginning, but it was just a crush- that's it! I really do love you, Will. You're the perfect man for me! when im away from you for more than a few hours, I get really, really sad.

RumIsEffinSweet42: AWWWWWW!!!

newdavyblaKsmith98: really?

MyHusbandSux1234: Yeah- ur sweet and kind, compassionate. Not 2 mention really cute. :3

RumIsEffinSweet42: pfft. U get all that and more with ME.

newdavyblaKsmith98: real funny, Jack.

MyHusbandSux1234: I'll make a new sn right now! Luv u, babe!

[MyHusbandSux1234 signed off

RumIsEffinSweet42: luv u 2, babe!

newdavyblaKsmith98: she was talking 2 me, Jack.

RumIsEffinSweet42: ik!

[iLuvEunuchs1234 has entered the chatroom

RumIsEffinSweet42: how the heck didja do that? that was the fastest sn making i've ever seen.

iLuvEunuchs1234: thanks! I've had it for a while, actually…

newdavyblaKsmith98: Lizzy!

iLuvEunuchs1234: what? What's wrong, baby?

newdavyblaKsmith98: I'm NOT a eunuch!

iLuvEunuchs1234: What?

RumIsEffinSweet42: Yeah… sry 2 break it 2 u, Lizzy, but, i just asked him if he was back in CotBP… like, as a joke.

iLuvEunuchs1234: REALLY!??!?

RumIsEffinSweet42: How could u NOT know? i mean… what about ur kid!? u HAD to have had sex SOMETIME… i mean, kids dont just appear outta nowhere, y'kno…

newdavyblaKsmith98: What kid?

RumIsEffinSweet42: y'know… _your_ kid.

newdavyblaKsmith98: we don't have a-

newdavyblaKsmith98: Oh my God.

RumIsEffinSweet42: i think i just said something i shouldn't have…

iLuvEunuchs1234: Jack, I am going to kick your ass from here to hell.

newdavyblaKsmith98: ELIZABETH-IT'S ONE THING TO SLEEP WITH MY FRIEND, BUT TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER MAN AND HAVE HIS CHILD AND TELL JACK THAT IT WAS MINE IS PROBABLY THE MOST SKANKIEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE!!!!

iLuvEunuchs1234: Jack, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!

RumIsEffinSweet42: WHAT!?

RumIsEffinSweet42: why ME? YOU'RE the skank!

iLuvEunuchs1234: stop calling me that!

RumIsEffinSwee42: oooooooooooooooh, ur in soooooooooooo much trouble. ; )

iLuvEunuchs1234: oh, god…

iLuvEunuchs1234: y'know what? as long as i'm still in trouble, I might as well come out and tell you everything.

RumIsEffinSweet42: this is gonna be fun.

newdavyblaKsmith98: oh my god, I'm going insane… my wife is sleeping with everybody on the planet except for me.

RumIsEffinSweet42: I feel u, bro.

newdavyblaKsmith98: the only thing ur "feeling" is my wife.

RumIsEffinSweet42: Hey! i've been over her for a long time, already.

newdavyblaKsmith98: wat? Since when?

RumIsEffinSweet42: oh, idk… since she fed me 2 a squid, maybe?

newdavyblaKsmith98: oh, yeah…

RumIsEffinSweet42: it's taking lizzy a long time to type this thingie… geez. i'd be freaking if i was u right now, willy.

iLuvEunuchs1234: I didn't have pneumonia on our honeymoon, I had herpes; that wasn't MY brother you found under my bed- it was _your_ brother with a fake moustache; the only way I get through making out with you is pretending you're Jack or Tim Curry or Matt Damon; that time I told you I had broken my leg tripping was actually because I punted your favorite Chinese vase out the window; and last but not least, not only is the child not yours, William- it's Jack's.

newdavyblaKsmith98: YOU WHORE!!!!

RumIsEffinSweet42: OH, MY GOD- IS IT _REALLY_ MINE!??!?!??!?!?!?

iLuvEunuchs1234: yeah… he is. I wasn't actually sure until I got a DNA test the other day…

RumIsEffinSweet42: i… i…

RumIsEffinSweet42: I can't believe this…

newdavyblaKsmith98: YOU can't believe this?

RumIsEffinSweet42: why didn't you TELL me?

iLuvEunuchs1234: I dunno'…

RumIsEffinSweet42: i- i can't be a dad! I'm not ready! Oh my God!

newdavyblaKsmith98: all I can say is: whore.

RumIsEffinSweet42: don't expect me to be paying any child support- IIIIIIIIIII wanted to practice safe sex, you whore! But u were all "NOOOOOOO. Condoms feel weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeird!"

iLuvEunuchs1234: well, they do!

RumIsEffinSweet42: ur so insensitive.

newdavyblaKsmith98: whore.

RumIsEffinSweet42: yeah, whore.

[newdavyblaKsmith98 has signed off

[RumIsEffinSweet42 has signed off

iLuvEunuchs1234: Jack?

iLuvEunuchs1234: Will?

iLuvEunuchs1234: u guys still there?

[CommodoreBaby76 has entered the chat room

CommodoreBaby76: you think they're gone?

iLuvEunuchs1234: yeah, I think so.

CommodoreBaby76: did they buy it?

iLuvEunuchs1234: lol. Ttly!

CommodoreBaby76: ur gonna' be in sooooooooooo much trouble when they find out it really is Will's.

iLuvEunuchs1234: yeah! ik! It was worth it though. :P

CommodoreBaby76: lol. Morons.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: yeah, I wrote this in my spare study hall time, so… don't expect anymore- this is the LAST chapter fo' sho'. I need to focus on KOTCHAD for a while… and other, various one-shots.


End file.
